My Writing

You’ve heard it before.
Life is a varied array of chances and life decisions and sometimes it doesn’t end up the way you want it.
But sometimes it does.
And before you know it your life is over, and you start to wonder what you’ve lived for.
What you’ve done.
Who, if anyone, you have affected by being alive.

Perhaps you’ve affected no one.
Perhaps no one really cares if you’re alive or if you’re dead.
Perhaps though, you’ve changed.
No one realizes it but you, but you realize that you have become a better person than you were before, and that you are a stronger person than when you started.
You’ve learned the usual life lessons.
You’ve sewn your wild oats,
And you even had fun along the way.

You felt your heart break for the first time, and wondered how you would ever live again.
When you found someone to love again, you wondered if you could ever trust them.
When you found that you could, you wondered if you would die even worse if they broke your heart, more so than the first time. When you didn’t, you became whole in them.

Love supposedly gets better with age, but what if it gets worse?
What if love is a needing to matter – to not be alone?
What if it is just a security blanket?
What if love is just holding us back?
Could we ever love someone and feel so passionately about them even until our dying days, that we wouldn’t want to spend a moment apart from them?

Perhaps we love because we want to affect someone with the fact that we were alive.
Perhaps we only love because we want someone to care as deeply about us as we do about ourselves. We would never admit that of course, for false modesty is prevalent in our society of political correctness and societal truths.

But think about it.

Maybe we only love to make a difference. To feel like it mattered that we lived at all. To have someone mourn the loss of us, and someone to celebrate our achievements as we go through life.

Or maybe we only love because we have nothing better to do. The drinking and the partying and the promiscuous sex only last a short time. Soon we start to search for some higher meaning in life. Our biological clocks start to tick tock as we soon need children in our lives.

At that point, you wonder why.
Did we get bored only loving one person? Do we need someone else? Or perhaps, having children is an additional security – the thought that if your love were to leave you or die then you would have someone else that cared and to whom you mattered.

Someone else who made life worth living.

Life is short.
But it’s short for a reason.
Life is short to get you off your ass and to live each day as fully as possible.
Life is short so that you realize how important it is to love someone.
Life is short so that you can fall so deeply in love with someone and still feel as passionately in love with them in old age.
Life is short so that you can matter, because someone all of a sudden fills your life with hope and passion and dreams that you never knew existed.
Life is short to find out who you are, and to see who you will become without waiting.
Life is short so that you can make a difference

Without someone to help us make a difference, our lives become a deep void.
But thankfully, life and love are synonymous
And love makes us matter.
Love makes a difference.
And when you find love, you begin to live.

It does matter after all that you were alive.

At least to someone.

Labels: Life, Love, Purpose