My Writing

When i didn’t believe in what They said
They then told me that i was Wrong.
and when i had anything to say back
They then told me it’s Too Long.

To Matter.
but who am i that i can’t become
this Person that i already am?
i’m trapped inside this tiny box with no
WindowsorAirorLoveorFreedomorKindnessorIndividualityandiJustFeel.

Trapped.
i no longer separate my feelings
i was ‘given’ this but not by choice.
i am cluttered and clumped and soon enough dumped
then i’ll be out of my own way
to think
and to link
the thoughts that i’ve had
that have been SilencedandCensoredandShhhdandMuffledandMutedandImplicitlyUnsaid
for longer than i can remember What Was.

Important.
this isn’t what i wanted.
but because i’m here and because i’m afraid
to leave, I will be haunted.

i tried to believe, because no one did call
the bluffs of the ManyBeforeUsWhoToldUs
that believing was the only way to Be.

Happy.
i’m tired.
i’m cold.
i thought i gave it my all.
i didn’t have courage although i tried to stand up.
but instead all i did was Fall.
To The Floor.

PleaseNoMore.
and rather than lie victorious on the battlefield,
after a very brave fight.
i will instead lie in my premature grave
andWalkandTalkasasWellasTheyDoPretending i Have Some Might.
perhaps if they knew how their disinterest killed
They might have tried to Save.

Me.